I was teaching a workshop this past weekend and I had some amazing ladies in the group. Everyone had different life experiences and some wonderful insights to offer.
Teaching about healthy boundaries is part of my workshop, but this group had many different views on what boundaries meant to them.
Now these ladies spanned ages from 28-73, I had a representative from each generation present.
The ones with the loosest boundaries weren’t of a specific generation though, they were sprinkled throughout
The thing that I did notice was that those who had loose boundaries also attached to a victim mindset easier.
We teach people how to treat us by what we allow.
And what we allow is what will continue!
So if you have loosey-goosey boundaries…
You can’t play the victim card.
I speak this to myself and to all of you!
Oh my heck!! I love this quote so much!
I was a HUGE people-pleaser in my former life, so my plate was ALWAYS full of crap that I didn’t want to do.
The result: a cranky, exhausted, resentful beast
Nowadays I take responsibility for myself. I pause before I answer yes or no when requests are made of me.
I don’t feel pressured to respond. I think a we have a tendency to get caught up in the expectations of others.
Adults get peer-pressured too!!
It’s ok to say no.
It’s ok to say “thanks for the invite, I’ll let you know”
It’s ok to say “I’m not available to do that, but thanks for thinking of me.”
It’s even ok to say “I don’t even like you Becky, why are you asking me?”
Just kidding. That’s not cool ;)
It will help you feel oodles of self-confidence to set healthy boundaries and respect your own time and personal space.
Give it a whirl people!
I would love to hear how things change in your life when you set some healthy boundaries.
Email me anytime: Shannanfiorenza@yahoo.com