Finding Beauty In Your Struggle

This is no easy task my friends.  I know for me, when I'm in the midst of a life challenge or unexpected struggle, I cannot see the lesson.  Often, it's hard to just keep taking baby steps forward. 

Recently I had a huge and unexpected life change.  I was laid off from a job that I had given my heart and soul to for the last three years.   I had been struggling with wanting to leave because I felt that it wasn't a heart-centered operation, it was solely financially driven.  My coaching practice was growing and it felt like it was nearing time to part ways.   But I worked with THE most amazing staff I have ever worked with in my life.  So I continued to stay.  All the while I had these inner tugs to get out.  

This was quite an abusive relationship for me.  The administration was so terribly dysfunctional and I spent a lot of my time trying to filter that behavior so that the staff below me wasn't affected (hello codependency).  We all know that shit rolls downhill, and I wasn't going to let that happen.  The staff and clients were very important to me.   But eventually it got to the point over the last few months where I was becoming physically exhausted.  Physical manifestation of stress is a big uh-oh for me.  It calls me to action every time.  I looked at my life and prayed and meditated about it for a week.  The Friday of that week I was laid off.  My Higher Power stepped in and did for me what I couldn't do for myself.  

I ultimately came to acceptance and peace about it (after the usual day or two of trying to control my feelings).  The lesson here for me is this: I am not good at ending abusive relationships.  The same was true of my 16 year marriage that was riddled with infidelity.  He had to ask ME for a divorce.  Since then,  I have grown leaps and bounds!  Learned to set healthy boundaries and live authentically.  But here I was in a whole different kind of abusive relationship.  I stayed way too long under too much abuse and duress and excused it away on the daily.  Telling myself that I work best under pressure (former ER Nurse and adrenaline junkie).  That maybe the administration would see me leading by example and start to change the trajectory of their leadership.  Obviously, that never happened.

So here's the beauty in this struggle: I made connections with some of the most genuine and compassionate human beings I've ever encountered.  Friendships that I cherish.  I was able to walk away from that position with grace knowing that everything I did there was with honesty and integrity.  I know that I will always remain teachable because there is always more to learn.  I can now focus all my efforts on my own heart-centered business and help others the way I am meant to.  

Everything happens for a reason.  Find the lesson.  Find the beauty.