Surrender as a verb (by Webster’s Dictionary definition) means: to cease resistance to an enemy or opponent.
For me, the opponent is often the natural flow of life and the thing in the way causing the resistance is more often than not, ME.
I consider myself a control freak by nature.
I was wired to do things a certain way for so long that it takes great effort on my part to step aside and allow life to unfold naturally.
I strive to be “in the flow”
Being aware of my controlling nature was the first step to correcting it.
But I have to practice surrender and acceptance all day every day. This is not something that comes naturally to me.
Since I began my healing journey, I have learned so many things about myself.
I am much more of a do-er than a be-er.
A twice daily meditation practice has helped me immensely.
But I would always prefer action because it offers that immediate gratification of accomplishment for me.
Hard things for me: learning to let go of control, having patience and having faith that things will work out exactly as they should.
I have a TON of discipline. I’m very self-motivating and I can always achieve anything I set my mind to.
But it is only when I practice surrender that I can find my way into the natural flow of life.
So here is the skinny on my surrender practice…
Acceptance: (for me) there is nothing else that can be done in the form of action on my part to remedy the situation (because I want to action my way out of everything). Therefor, I must accept things as they are.
Prayer: I’m an all-day prayer kind of girl. I have an open dialogue with my Higher Power. I talk out loud sometimes (ok, all the time). I say a lot of thank you prayers. But when I’m struggling to surrender I often say “I need help with this”.
More Acceptance: are you sure there isn’t ANYTHING I can DO to change this??!! Because duh! We all know I have to at least try one additional time to control it in some way.
Reflection: I remember back to every single point in my life when I was scared and tried to control things. I see how surrender helped in so many ways. That always boosts my faith.
God Box: I have a beautiful wooden box on my bookshelf that has the tree of life carved on the top of it. When I have something that I am struggling with, it helps me SO much to write it on a piece of paper and “surrender” it into my God Box. The physical action of doing that will also lead me to energetically release it as well.
The most difficult times for me to surrender are when one door has closed and another one has not opened.
Navigating the hallway or the in-between time is exceptionally frustrating for me
“Honor the space between the no longer and the not yet”
~ Nancy Levin
I love that quote… but dude!!
It is SO hard for me to honor a space that is filled with uncertainty and lack of direction.
I think a lot of people have issues with feeling their way through those hallway times.
Some people revert back to old comforting behaviors to squelch the discomfort.
Take a crappy job. Seek out an ex partner. Eat, drink, drug, shop.
All to avoid the the inevitable feelings, but really just saving them for a later date. They will surface regardless.
Hanging onto what you thought should or could have been is just prolonging a state of confusion.
I have learned that slowing down and just allowing the feelings to come and go is a healthier option.
It doesn’t feeeeeeel good though.
Having a surrender practice helps. It sets the stage for FAITH to come into play.
I think of surrender like swimming in the ocean.
When the waves are rough and I’m treading water like a mad woman or trying to swim to shore, I’m going to be exhausted and get nowhere!
But if I just let go and float, eventually the waves will send me closer to shore. Plus I can regain my strength by resting.
For anyone who can surrender without an active practice I honor you.
Until I am able to do that myself (which could very well be never), I will continue to practice surrendering my own way.
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